Mum's on holidays

So I turn around to the kids (15yo and 17yo) sitting in the backseat of the car, and gleefully tell them I'm home for a week over the school holidays! Yippee!

Their responses? One had their earphones in so didn't hear me, and the other said,

"You do realise, Mum, that we probably won't be home that much don't you?"

Hrrummph!

"Well guess what?" I respond.

"You two are coming down to the beach with me for a day or two!"

So there.

Nine Summers

I've read you only have nine summers with your kids.

That's quite scary. I am not sure that can be accurate though.

It's not as if a ten year old can

• get his licence
• get a job
• have his/her own money, or 
• sign any contracts

so that must be an exaggeration.

Any way you look at it though, your time with your kids is limited. I have struggled over the years to remember that and have sometimes resented the massive time investment required.

But more recently I am regretting that resentment! You can't switch back the clock - and you can't make your children or yourself young again.

Live with them and love them today, 'cause tomorrow they'll be gone.

Frenchic Pays It Forward

I am taking up the challenge from Perpetual One. She is participating in a handmade giveaway, and I encourage you to take part too!

Are you looking for something fun to do to kick start 2011? Are you a creative person who loves to share? Would you like to receive something handmade from me? I have various items - bunting, cushion cover, aprons, tea cosies and other items just waiting for a new home.

This is how it works: I promise something (quality) handmade to the FIRST 5 people who leave a comment here.

However, to be eligible, you must be offering something handmade to 5 other people.

Repost this post on your own blog. What you gift must be handmade by you, and it must be sent to your 5 giftees sometime in 2011.

The steps to follow:

Step 1

Download "pay it forward" logo from here

Step 2

Create a blog post offering 5 readers the same opportunity as I have done here (you can use the words I have used if you want).

Step 3

Once you have published the post on your blog come back to me and paste the link of your post in my post comments.

So go on - be in it and Pay It Forward too!

One Flew The Coop

So, finally the 18yo son worked four full days this week. He worked at a well-known winery in the Yarra Valley and even brought me home two unlabeled bottles of sparkling pink. Can't complain about that! Although I did grill him and make sure it was someone actually belonging to the winery who was giving away bottles of wine to the workers!

He even enjoyed it! So glad. About time really, he's been at home on his backside at his computer for five months straight, coming out only to heat a pie and get a drink of the juice that's supposed to be strictly for dinner time only. Oh and it became his job to vac and mop the floor each week.

As that was a temp job, and he's not required next week, I am not sure what is in store.

What do you do with offspring that don't want to fly with their own wings? NAG.

Yes that's right. NAG.

When asked, is he enjoying working, he said "I'm glad to get them off my back", jerking a thumb in my general direction.

I know he said this because I was there.

Parents don't want justice...

...they want peace!', says Bill Cosby, parenting genius.

Too right! Parents everywhere would secretly subscribe to this sentiment - I would bet my patchwork stash on it.

So Little Bro is annoyed by Sis being completely, like, social!

'She's never home to do her jobs Mum!' he points out.

I could point out to him, I say the same thing about him. How many times have I emptied the dishwasher and taken out the compost and rubbish when he's next door at The Best Mate's place?

I'd like a dollar...

Now don't get me wrong, I'm no slave-driver, but I believe kids should do their part in maintaining the cushy environments they live in. Especially as they get older, they need to learn how to take care of themselves should the need arise - when Hubby and I go on a trip without them for example. :D

Now, if I look at the jobs list on the fridge, it all looks completely fair and equal. The problem is that Big Bro has had VCE to contend with for three years now - 'Mum I'm studying!'.

Sis CAN'T miss Neighbours, and says 'When Neighbours is finished Mum', and then promptly forgets and then it rains and the clothes that have been hanging on the line (probably hung out by me) for four days, get another rinse!

'Okay' I say to Little Bro. 'We'll switch the jobs around, wanna take out the garbage and compost all the time, instead of emptying the dishwasher?'

'Yeah' he says. That was easy. Problem solved. Or was it?

'Why are we changing the jobs around?' comes the whine from Sis.

'Because Little Bro says you're never here, so we're switching the jobs around. And you've all been doing the same things for years. It's time for a change.'

'He's always next door at The Best Mate's place!' she countered. Sigh. Why, why why?!

'Look, that's how it is now, and it's because I said so.' I said this with finality using my best Dragon Mother voice.

Sis flounced off, clearly indicating this isn't over.

Chat Language - Keep Your Eyes On It!

Are we acting as the notorious Big Brother if we want to check through our children's contacts on their mobile phones, IM chats or Facebook accounts?

My son recently had an internet safety session at school last week which highlighted the frightening prevalence of all kinds of dangers, from bullying (which has allegedly recently resulted in four teen suicides at one regional high school), to pedophelia and other undesirable results.

It really is a virtual world out there, and one that is almost impossible to control, patrol or regulate. Unfortunately, there is a whole new language known by kids, and anybody else who is au fait with the latest in communication technology.

Some of the terms are intentionally keeping parents unaware of what the children might really be up to. I will hazard a guess that many parents aren't even aware of the languages out there Here are a few words from this internet language vocabulary of which there are many variations & even simply symbols in place of words:

• pos = parents over shoulder
• ftbomh = from the bottom of my heart
• (()):** = hugs & kisses
• irl = in real life

There are a whole lot out there...you should check it out. There's even a text or chat language conversion site!

Hmm this may be useful...but don't tell the kids!

Teach Your Children

Why are we so embarrassed to teach our children anything formally? Neither of us are teachers, yet our children do look to us as teachers although they may not see it that way.

This morning, we made an effort to sit down as a family and share a book written by a well known family psychologist - Dr James Dobson - called Preparing for Adolescence. I pulled it out of a drawer where it had lain unread for many years this week while I had been in bed with flu. I did a speed read and discovered it's actually written TO pre-teens and teens, not to parents.

That said, the information I read was like discovering gold to me. I so wish I knew back then what I know now. Dr Dobson asks why do parents keep their own stories and examples from their own children? My reason is that I didn't realise how common the problems teenagers face growing up actually are, or how the manifestations of different behaviours are linked. We're not all psychologists are we?

It's amazing, I thought till very recently, that I was the unusual one. I was shy, bullied, felt insecure, uncoordinated and probably experienced many other problems I thankfully have forgotten for now. It is apparently normal for most if not all adolescents to go through all of these and more! This has spurred us to action!

We have three children at a different point in the teen years, one entering, one in the middle, and one towards the end. I think this book will help us approach and maybe even begin to solve some of the problems we have been experiencing in our family for some time.

It seems to be an answer to prayer really.