Just a Minute!

Dinner's ready! I call. I've learnt to call the family to the table at least five minutes ahead of time because inevitably Little Bro is on level 1,000,000 of Tunescape, Sis is watching her favourite TV soap, Big Bro is 'just reading one more page' and the Husband decides he needs the bathroom.

Four of us wait for the last one to appear (and that could be any of the other three), meanwhile the fish is going cold. I roll my eyes and sigh. The steam is no longer rising from the freshly cooked vegetables, but is now percolating from my ears. With nostrils flaring I shove my chair back and storm to Little Bro's bedroom. He looks up guiltily. Just a minute Mum! I'm just in the middle of something.

Now what does that expression mean to you? 60 seconds? Two minutes? In 17 years of being a mother, I still don't know. Well, when I say it, what I really mean is wait till I'm finished what I'm doing, be patient. (It's my right as a parent to take as long as I need to do what I'm doing - it's more important than what you need me for - isn't it?)

Come to think of it, that's probably what everyone thinks it means when they say it, but not when they hear it. When we hear this phrase, we take it literally. When we say it, we are "guesstimating", rounding off and not wanting to openly disappoint the requester.

So why are we so optimistic about how long things take? We don't want the other person/s to slide off the hook, lose interest in what we need them for, or think they are less important.

But by underestimating how long it will be until my mind is free to refocus, I think I am undervaluing the importance of the request and/or the supplicant.

My latest resolution is to be (more) precise about how long it will be until I can give my fullest attention to the next attention-seeking missile.